Forty unread emails, three deadlines, and your phone buzzing with the school’s number again. You do not know where to start, so you jump between everything and finish nothing. Juggling work and SEN parenting can leave you feeling stretched in every direction at once.
Feeling overwhelmed at work is common, but for parents and carers of children with SEN it often lands on top of everything else: appointments in the middle of the working day, calls to come and collect, broken nights and the constant feeling of being “on”. Here is why it happens, how to tell when it is getting too much, and the small steps that help you take back a little control.
Why working SEN parents feel so overwhelmed
- Too much, too fast. More work than hours, and constant interruptions from emails, messages and calls from school.
- Appointments that do not fit around work. Paediatricians, therapists and school meetings are rarely at 6pm.
- No breaks. Lunch at your desk while filling in a form for your child leaves no time for your mind to reset.
- No recovery at home. When home life is demanding too, there is nowhere to recharge.
Signs work stress is getting too much for a parent carer
- Dreading Monday from Sunday afternoon
- Thinking about work, or your child’s next meeting, all evening and lying awake at night
- Feeling tearful, irritable or numb
- Making more mistakes than usual, or finding it hard to concentrate
If this sounds familiar, you might also find it helpful to read why SEN parents feel so overwhelmed, and what helps.
What to do when juggling work and SEN parenting gets too much
- Stop and breathe before you do anything else. A few slow breaths calm the panic enough to think clearly. In through your nose for four, out through your mouth for six.
- Write it all down, then pick three. Get every task out of your head and onto paper, work and home. Then choose the three that matter most today. Everything else can wait, be shared, or be done less perfectly.
- Take a proper lunch break. Away from your desk and away from your screen, even for 15 minutes. You will come back with a clearer head.
- Get outside for ten minutes. A short walk breaks the cycle of rushing from one thing to the next.
- Protect your evening. The evening is when you recover, so leave work at work where you can. Here is how to relax when your mind won’t stop at night.
Talking to your employer about caring for a child with SEN
It can feel daunting, but your manager cannot help with a problem they do not know about. Be specific: what is on your plate, which appointments are coming up and what would help. In the UK, employees can ask for flexible working, and many carers can take unpaid carer’s leave. Acas and Carers UK explain your rights, and the Health and Safety Executive sets out what employers should do about work-related stress.
A 15-minute reset for working parent carers
On the most frazzled days, give yourself one 15-minute pause. Close the laptop. Make a drink. Sit somewhere different. Breathe slowly. Then go back to just one thing.
It will not clear the inbox, but it can stop the day running away with you. For more gentle ideas, try these calm moments for SEN parents when life feels like a constant rush.
When work stress becomes too much
If work stress is affecting your sleep, your health or your relationships, please speak to your GP. Mind’s guide to mental health at work and the NHS guide to stress are good places to start, and Samaritans are there day or night on 116 123.
Looking after you is part of looking after them. For more calm moments made for parents and carers of children with SEN, visit Self-care for SEN parents and carers. And on the hard days, the SEN Mums Journal has a page for you and a page for your child.
