The pile of ironing on the chair. The drawer that will not shut. The DLA form, the school consent slip, the email to the paediatrician you have been meaning to send for a fortnight. If you have no energy as an SEN parent for the jobs you keep putting off, every day they feel a little heavier.
If you are a parent or carer of a child with SEN, you probably have a list of jobs you have been putting off for weeks. By the time the school run, the appointments, the phone calls and bedtime are done, there is nothing left in the tank. And the longer the jobs sit there, the bigger they seem.
Here is why those jobs pile up, why it is not laziness, and a gentle way to make a start. A timer, one small job, a bit of music and a cup of tea. 15 minutes at a time.
Why SEN parents keep putting jobs off
It is rarely because you do not care. More often it is one of these:
- The job feels too big, so you do not know where to start. Forms about your child can be emotionally heavy too.
- You are simply tired, often after broken nights, and the evenings are for getting through, not getting on.
- There is never a clear run at it, because someone always needs you halfway through.
- It is a boring job, and there is nothing nice about doing it.
Every one of these makes sense. You are not lazy. You are caring for a child who needs a lot from you, with only so much energy to go round.
Why unfinished jobs drain a parent carer’s energy
Jobs you have not done do not just sit quietly in the corner. They sit in your head too. Every time you see that pile, a little voice says “I really must do that.” That nagging takes energy, even when you are not doing anything at all. It is one of the reasons so many of us end up feeling overwhelmed as an SEN parent.
Which is why getting even one small job done can feel like such a relief. It is not just the job that has gone. It is the nagging, too.
A 15-minute routine for SEN parents with no energy
- Set a timer for 15 minutes. Not “until it is done”. Just 15 minutes. Knowing there is an end makes it so much easier to start, and you are allowed to stop when it goes off.
- Choose one small job. Not “sort the house” or “do the EHCP paperwork”. One drawer. One pile. One section of one form. Write it down and let the rest of the list wait.
- Put a playlist on. Four or five songs is about 15 minutes, so your playlist becomes your timer too. Choose songs that lift you.
- Start with a quick win. If you are really struggling to get going, begin with something you can finish in two minutes, like clearing the kitchen table. That little feeling of “done” carries you into the next thing.
- Stop, and have a proper cup of tea. When the timer goes, stop, even if you are not finished. Make a drink and sit with it until it is finished. That is your reward, and it is what makes you willing to do it again tomorrow.
Making EHCP and DLA forms easier on yourself
Some jobs are put off not because they are big, but because they hurt. Forms that ask you to describe your child’s hardest days can leave you feeling raw. Be gentle with yourself:
- Do them earlier in the day, not last thing at night
- Answer one question at a time, then stop
- Ask a friend or partner to sit with you while you write
- Plan something kind for afterwards, like a short walk or a warm drink
What if a tired SEN parent only manages one job?
Then you have done one more job than yesterday, and that is worth celebrating. 15 minutes a day adds up to nearly two hours a week. Over a month, the pile, the drawer and the forms will quietly shrink.
And some days you will not manage any. That is fine too. Rest is not a job you have failed at. For more ways to slow the pace, try these calm moments for SEN parents when life feels like a constant rush.
When low energy is something more
Everyone puts things off sometimes. But if you feel tired all the time, cannot find the energy for anything, or feel low most days, please speak to your GP. The NHS has helpful information on tiredness and fatigue, and Carers UK can help with the practical side of caring, including forms. If you need to talk to someone right now, Samaritans are there day or night on 116 123.
Looking after you is part of looking after them. For more calm moments made for parents and carers of children with SEN, visit Self-care for SEN parents and carers. And if you’d like simple 10-minute activities to help your child, Mooki Cards starter packs are free until 31 January with the code HELPEVERYCHILD.
