December is the month you make everyone else’s magic. This year, what if you opened a little door for yourself every day too?
If you’re the parent or carer of a child with SEN, December can be a lot. The school timetable changes, there are rehearsals and parties, the shops are loud and bright, and you’re the one smoothing it all over, often while still chasing appointments and paperwork. A self care advent calendar isn’t about buying yourself 24 expensive treats. It’s 24 small, calming moments, one a day, to help you get to Christmas feeling a bit less frazzled. Most take fifteen minutes or less, and many are free.
Use the list below for yourself, or turn it into a homemade advent calendar for another SEN parent, a sister or a friend who needs a breather.
What is a self care advent calendar?
It’s a countdown to Christmas where each day holds a small act of kindness to yourself instead of (or as well as) a chocolate. It might be a written prompt, a tea bag, a candle or a reminder to go outside. The point is the pause, not the present. The idea is inspired by hygge, the Danish way of making ordinary moments feel warm and calm.
24 self care advent calendar ideas for parent carers
Week one: slowing down (1 to 7 December)
- Drink a hot drink while it’s still hot, sitting down.
- Light a candle the moment it gets dark.
- Take a ten-minute walk with no podcast and no destination.
- Change into your comfiest clothes as soon as you get home.
- Write down three good things from today.
- Swap the big light for a lamp all evening.
- Go to bed half an hour earlier than usual.
Week two: a little comfort (8 to 14 December)
- Make hot chocolate the long way, with melted chocolate.
- Warm your pyjamas on the radiator before bed.
- Read one chapter of a book just for you.
- Put on thick socks and do nothing for fifteen minutes.
- Listen to one favourite Christmas song, all the way through, without doing anything else.
- Have a bath or a long shower by candlelight.
- Eat one mince pie slowly, sitting down.
Week three: connection (15 to 21 December)
- Ring a friend just to catch up.
- Write one Christmas card that says something real.
- Look through old photos, slowly.
- Watch the Christmas lights on your street after dark.
- Have one phone-free meal with the people you love.
- Say no to one thing you don’t have time for.
- On the shortest day, sit by a window and watch the winter light.
The final days: rest (22 to 24 December)
- Lower one standard. Shop-bought is fine.
- Ask someone else to do one job for you.
- On Christmas Eve, take fifteen minutes alone with a cup of tea before the evening begins.
How do I make a self care advent calendar as a gift?
Write each idea on a small card and pop it in a numbered envelope, a paper bag or a little fabric pouch. Add a small filler to some days so there’s something to unwrap.
What are good self care advent calendar fillers?
- Tea bags or hot chocolate sachets
- Tea lights or a small candle
- A face mask or a little hand cream
- A bookmark or a short book of poems
- A pair of cosy socks
- Bath salts or a lavender bag
- A handwritten note or “time voucher”
Keep it light. A self care advent calendar shouldn’t become another big job on your December list.
A calmer December for your child too
December brings lots of change, and for many children with SEN that can be hard. If it helps your family, a simple countdown or picture timetable can show your child what’s coming, and a quiet space at home, or a plan for somewhere calm to step away to at busy gatherings, can make the noise and lights easier to manage. Your own calm moments matter here too, because children borrow our calm.
What if I miss a day?
Then you miss a day. This isn’t a challenge to pass or fail. Pick it up again tomorrow, or do two at once. Even five of these moments across December is five more than you’d have had. And if you’d like more ideas, these calm moments for when life feels like a constant rush work any time of year.
When December feels like more than busy as an SEN parent
If you feel low most days, the darker months always hit you hard, or it’s lasting or getting worse, please speak to your GP. The NHS has information on seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and Samaritans are there day or night on 116 123.
Looking after you is part of looking after them. For more calm moments made for parents and carers of children with SEN, visit Self-care for SEN parents and carers. And if you’d like simple 10-minute activities to help your child, Mooki Cards starter packs are free until 31 January with the code HELPEVERYCHILD.
