When did you last do absolutely nothing, and not feel guilty about it?
As an SEN mum, you are “on” all the time. Even when you sit down, part of you is listening out for the next meltdown, replying to school, or remembering a form that needs sending. We scroll, we plan, we fold a bit of washing while the kettle boils. Doing nothing can feel lazy, or even a little uncomfortable.
This week, why not take 15 minutes for a calm moment, inspired by hygge, the Danish idea of cosy comfort, and do absolutely nothing, on purpose? Not resting while secretly thinking about your to-do list. Properly, deliberately, wonderfully nothing.
Consider this your official permission slip.
Make it cosy
Doing nothing is much easier when you are comfortable.
Before you start, set up your spot:
- The comfiest seat in the house, or a pile of cushions on the floor
- A soft blanket
- A candle or lamp instead of the big light
- A warm drink, if you like
- Your phone in another room, or at least out of sight if school might need to reach you
No book, no podcast, no music, no notebook. Those are lovely, but they are something. Today is about nothing.
What “nothing” looks like
Doing nothing does not mean switching your brain off completely. It simply means letting go of doing. You might:
- Sit and stare out of the window
- Lie on the sofa and watch the ceiling
- Close your eyes and listen to the house
- Let your mind wander wherever it wants to go
Your 15 minutes of nothing
Settle in and let the time be completely yours.
- Get comfortable. Wrap yourself in your blanket and let your body sink.
- Take three slow breaths. Let your shoulders drop on each breath out.
- Let your eyes rest. On a candle, a window, or simply closed.
- Notice the urge to do something. Then let it pass, like a cloud.
- Just be. You do not need to achieve anything in these 15 minutes.
Slow it right down
The first few minutes might feel fidgety. That is completely normal. Most of us are out of practice, and SEN mums more than most.
As you settle, try to notice:
- Your breathing slowing on its own
- The quiet sounds of the room around you
- How heavy and relaxed your body feels
- The surprising luxury of having nowhere to be
If a little voice says you should be doing something useful, thank it kindly and remind it that this is useful. Rest is never wasted time. When you are rested, it is easier to stay steady for your child, because children borrow our calm.
Finish gently
When your 15 minutes are up, stretch slowly and take your time getting up. Carry that unhurried feeling into whatever comes next. For more ideas, these simple self-care ideas for SEN parents who always come last are a gentle next step.
You could also:
- Notice how you feel compared with 15 minutes ago
- Pop “do nothing” in your diary as a real appointment, alongside all the others
- Try it again when you feel frazzled
- Make it your little weekend ritual
Your 15-minute challenge
Today, give yourself 15 minutes.
Find a comfy spot. Wrap up in a blanket. Put your phone in another room.
Then do absolutely nothing, on purpose.
It does not have to be productive. It does not have to be earned.
It just has to be yours.
Because sometimes doing nothing is exactly what an SEN mum needs to feel like herself again.
You are allowed to simply be.
Looking after you is part of looking after them. For more calm moments made for mums of children with SEN, visit For parents. And if you’d like simple 10-minute activities to help your child, Mooki Cards starter packs are free until 31 January with the code HELPEVERYCHILD.